i am not

i am not the loved

you do not control my endeavors

im washing my face, trying to wake myself up

once there was a time i felt something other then this water filling up the cup my hand creates, spilling over the tips of my fingers

i am not the desired

sometimes i think about just driving away

staying at acquaintances houses along the way, sleeping in my car if i have too

putting on ambient music and singing my own lyrics in my car thats in desperate need of an oil change

you wont find me where you left me

im moving on

i am not the deranged

you cannot condemn my actions

i like being in control, i rather drive then sit covering my face praying that God will forgive my sins before i die in a horrible car crash

i think there was a time in life where i discovered many ridiculous phobias i had

they weren't as ridiculous as they were unnecessary

i don't think ill ever be stuck in a drive through of a fast food restaurant so long i feel trapped, though there was a time it made me anxious thinking about it